Incoherence
by Jarnigan
Summary: During a robbery investigation, Batman discovers an unlikely victim. Rated M. Contains references to violence, drug use, adult language and sexual situations. Three chapters published each upload. There is a more explicit version of this story available on the internet under a different forum by the same author. You must be a member of that forum to read it.
1. Chapter 1

**Incoherence**

Chapter One

She lay against the unforgivingly cold, brick wall in a dark alley, rain pelting her costume which was torn in several places. She was soaking wet and her nipples were hard from the cold. Her mouth bled from its corners and her left eye was blackened. Her make-up was streaked from the rain.

One of her legs was bent at an odd angle, and her right arm felt broken.

'Damn,' she thought to herself. 'I'm in a real jamb this time.'

A dark figure moved quietly through the shadows towards her, silently and determined. He was tall and muscular, strong and powerful, and commanded an unnerving presence. Yes, she was here. He knew she would be.

"Quinn," the figure spoke in that dark, deep voice she recognized. She flinched.

She cocked her head slightly upward to see if she could see him. Her eyesight was a little fuzzy. "B-Man," she managed to get out. "What are ya doin' here?"

Batman looked at her. The rain had stopped. He could tell she was hurt. "I got a report of an attempted robbery in this area," he said. "I came to investigate."

Harley Quinn swallowed. Yes, there had been an attempted robbery. She knew all too well. "So ya come ta take me ta jail?" she asked.

He pulled out his biometric scanner from his utility belt. Reaching for her, she tried to move away and whimpered. "Stay still," Batman said with what she thought might be a hint of compassion. "I'm not going to hurt you."

The device whirred and hummed as he scanned her body. Her core temperature was dangerously lower than normal, but that could be due to the rain and exposure. Her eye was swollen from the impact of a large handed man. The scanner picked up a broken leg and a dislocated rotator cuff.

"What happened here?"

Again, she swallowed. "Mistah J and me was'a headin' up a heist on this place around tha corner," Harley said. "Something went wrong, and Mistah J blamed me for it."

Batman knew that Harley and the Joker's relationship was one-sided, and that Joker was abusive to her. But her facial wounds didn't match with a man of Joker's size. That wound was from someone much larger.

He knew the answer, but he needed to ask anyway. "Did he do this to you?"

Harley Quinn knew the answer Bats wanted to hear. She just couldn't bring herself to say it. "No, Mistah J loves me…but he didn't stop it," she continued.

"What do you mean?"

"His…his goons. He told them I needed to be taught a lesson. Puddin' had never said that before." Harley became emotional. "There was three of 'em. Big 'uns. " She swallowed again. "At first, I fought against them, but they ganged up on me, took me down. They humiliated me. They…" Tears began trickling down her face. She could not, or would not finish the sentence.

Batman, a bastion of checked emotions, actually began to feel pity for the woman before him. Her feelings for Joker were misguided and off-kilter, but she didn't deserve this. He looked up; it was just beginning to break light.

"I'm going to take you with me and get you cleaned up," Batman said to her as he gently cradled her body in his arms.

"I…I can't be gone from him, he'll send someone lookin' for me," Harley said, terrified of what might happen if Joker found out she was anywhere near the Bat.

Batman looked into the soulful blue eyes staring at him from behind her mask. His feelings for the woman were creeping in. He had been feeling this way since their first encounter. She intrigued him but had always managed to keep himself in check. But this, this incident was the final straw. "He won't find you, I promise," he told her. "The Batmobile is at the end of the alleyway."

The Batmobile was something that Harley had always wondered about. What it would be like to ride in it, albeit not under these circumstances. How did it work? Was it really the machine every criminal she encountered had said it was?

"Where ya takin' me?" she asked.

"Home."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Commissioner of the Gotham City Police, James Gordon stood on the roof of the GCPD. Flipping a switch caused the huge searchlight to go dim. Batman wasn't coming, and that was odd. Usually he managed to sneak up behind Gordon, making the older man wish for retirement so he would stop getting the shit scared out of him.

'Must've been important,' Jim mused to himself. Crime in Gotham had been on the downswing ever since The Riddler was in lock-up. His henchmen were still on the loose but Batman was slowly rounding them up, especially the Riddler's informants.

The last gang brought in provided valuable information into the dealings of Roman Sionis, aka the Black Mask. Gordon had not had the least bit of luck putting the puzzle pieces together and needed Batman's help in doing so.

Heading down the steps to the roof access elevator, Gordon wondered how much more Gotham could take. Reports were coming in that Metropolis was getting just as bad, but he couldn't believe that. Gotham was Hell on Earth. What was it about this place that made every criminal element gravitate to it like honey?

The elevator dinged in the hallway of the bull-pen. Gordon stepped out and made his way to his office. The city had just cleaned up from the Founder's Day Parade. It was going to be a long year.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Harley Quinn lay on a gurney in the Bat Cave. She was exhausted and sleeping, her large bosom rising up and down with her steady breathing. Batman checked her vitals again. Her temperature had risen slightly. He had set her leg. The break was clean and would heal just fine. Her arm he placed in a sling.

Batman did not remove her mask. Her clothing had been dried with the aid of the heat lamps surrounding the gurney.

An elevator opened, and an older but handsome gentleman came over to the table with a tray. "I say, Sir," he said with an English accent, "was it wise to bring Miss Quinn here? "

Batman looked at the vitals monitor. "She was hurting, both physically and emotionally, Alfred, there was no other place to take her." He continued his ministrations on the young woman. Alfred did not fail to take notice.

Alfred sat the tray down on the table next to the gurney. He had brought a mirror and make-up supplies for Harley when she awoke to take care of herself. "It just seems to me, that she might get the wrong impression."

"There is no impression," Batman said emotionless. "Joker allowed his men to do their worst to her. I could not leave her there."

"And that's very commendable of you, Sir," Alfred said. "I meant nothing untoward."

"I know. "

Harley Quinn stirred slightly on the gurney but otherwise remained asleep.

"How long do you expect she might be out?" Alfred inquired.

"Probably for a few hours. She took a real beating. When she awakes, we can get some food into her," Batman said, and headed over to the mega computer.

"Have you heard from Commissioner Gordon?' Batman asked.

Alfred studied for a second. "The Bat Signal went up a few hours ago, but I have a feeling you may have been preoccupied at the moment."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"What do you mean she isn't here!? " Joker asked his goon Rocco. "She always comes back. Where the Hell is she? I can't find my damn tie!"

Joker's three goons looked at him, their smirks of derision hidden on their faces beneath their clown masks. Zed spoke up for the group: "Ya told us ta leave 'er there."

"Gee, Boss, ya didn't tell us we were babysitters, too." Rocco looked at Joker with a hint of skepticism. "If you hate that dumb broad, why do you care if she's here or not?"

Joker backhanded Rocco. "Listen, Fool, she's my dumb broad, and if I want her here that's my decision," he spat. "I don't believe you just left her laying there."

Rocco looked at his compatriots, Zed and Arky. "Trust us, she wasn't goin' anywhere. We took real good care of her."

Joker thought about that for a moment. Yes, he had said "Do your worst" to them, but exactly what did they do? Did he really care? Did he want to know? He told himself no, he didn't really need that information. He just remembered hearing her scream as he left.

Arky spoke next. "She'll probably still be there later. Dat is unless the rats have their way."

Joker cackled at that. "Ah yes, mustn't let the rats go hungry. Tell you what, boys. Let's give her a day, shall we? See if she turns up. She always does. Just like a bad cold. Ha ha ha ha….."

Rocco, Arky and Zed: three of the dumbest goons he had ever hired, but Joker counted on them to be his eyes and ears. They knew the score. But, Harley was the wild card. She, to him, was always fucking something up. She never could follow directions, that one; little blonde headed minx.

"You know boys, I've changed my mind. Screw the little bitch," Joker said with a crooked smile. "She'll come crawling and beg me to take her back."

And boy, will I have a surprise for her. "Ha ha ha hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Harley Quinn mumbled and slowly opened her eyes. She was warm, the heat lamps doing their job. Her eyesight adjusted and she slowly pried herself up to a sitting position on the gurney.

"Where am I?" she asked to no one in particular.

"How are you feeling?" the dark voice asked.

"Like tha wrong end of a punchin' bag," she yawned. "What about my question?"

Batman opened a box of antibiotics. He proceeded to fill a syringe to give Harley a shot. "You're in the Bat Cave. You were hurt pretty badly." He applied a tourniquet to her left arm and injected her. "This will help you feel better. You were exposed to the elements for a good portion of the night."

Harley winced at the slight pinch. She hated shots. "Thanks, B-Man." She surveyed her surroundings, casually looking for a possible exit if necessary. Nothing stood out to her. "Although, I don't know iffin I'm worth all tha trouble."

Batman remained silent. Harley's mind was swirling with thoughts that scared her. She considered Batman to be a sworn enemy, but he was being uncharacteristically sympathetic to her. Out of all their battles, he was always on point about the situation, and the realities of her decisions. Come to think of it, he had never intentionally been cruel or mean to her. That, she did remember.

Batman, too, was busy thinking, about the beautiful woman that appeared from nowhere to team up with Joker and his lot. Even with make-up, he could see her soft yet exotic features. Her blue eyes always seemed to sear through him whenever she looked at him. That could be her intense hatred of him, or possibly something else. He wanted it to be the latter.

"Quinn," he finally spoke, "are you hungry?"

"You can call me Harley, Batman. Everyone does," she replied, "and yes…I am hungry."

"I'll have Alfred bring you something to eat." He pointed to the table beside the gurney. "There's fresh make-up for you, but try not to use your arm excessively. Your rotator cuff was dislocated. I don't want you to exacerbate the problem."

Harley nodded in agreement. This was borderline surreal, like an episode of ' _The Twilight Zone'_. Batman was actually showing compassion. She wondered when the next shoe would drop.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Rocco, Arky and Zed returned to the Seagate Amusement Park, hideout for the Joker and his crew. They had news for Joker and he probably wasn't going to like it. "She wasn't there," Rocco said. "I'm telling ya there is absolutely no fuckin' way she walked away from there."

Joker thought about this. "Obviously, somebody helped her. Think, Old Man, think. I know she's chumzie with some chick named Poison Ivy. " Joker stroked his hair, making it into an unruly mess. "Maybe that's where we'll start. I cannot have my people making me the butt of a joke…that's my job."

"Why do we need 'er?" Arky asked.

"She has information I need," Joker explained. "An Ace in the Hole if you will. She is expendable, the information is not."

Zed opened a book with a list of addresses he found in Harley's things. "There's no Poison Ivy listed in here," he said. "There's a Pamela Isley. Ya think it might be tha same person?"

Joker sat in his chair behind his planning desk. "I doubt it, but it never hurts to check. Head over there tomorrow and check her out," he instructed them.

Joker turned back to his desk. His new formulation of Joker Gas was almost complete. The last ingredient had been what they were looking for during the robbery that Harley botched. He knew the supply could be procured from one of Black Masks' many hideouts, but since the Riddler was behind bars, Roman had disappeared. Vanished like a vapor. No one has seen or heard from him in months even though his properties were being maintained.

'What was it with criminal types that just disappear for no apparent reason?' he thought.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

"B-Man," Harley said, "I wanna say thanks for fixin' me up, but I really do need ta get back. Mistah J is probably worried sick."

Batman looked at the tray she just finished for dinner. She had eaten everything. She looked healthy, and her bruising was starting to subside. Alfred's cooking had done wonders for her.

"Harley, why would you want to go back there?" Batman asked. "You've been here almost three days, and in that time I can't find any information on his movements. He's obviously not looking for you. Tell me where he is, and I'll put you in protective custody until I can figure out what he's got up his sleeve."

Harley Quinn stood up from the makeshift table in the Bat Cave. "It's not that easy, Bats," she said. "He's a powerful, persuasive guy."

"What's his hold on you?"

Harley thought for a moment. Exactly what was his hold on her? What has he ever done for her? The one true compliment he ever gave her was saying her name put a smile on his face. Ha! He always has a smile. "I don't know."

Batman turned to face her. "I don't want you to go back. He'll just hurt you again, and I can't…" He did not finish.

Harley was quick to pick up on this. "Aww, Bats…you actually care," she said, a small grin forming on her lips. "So what iffin I actually stay? Ya gonna protect me? Hold me? Love me?" She placed more emphasis on those last two words. Her piercing blue eyes found his and he turned away from her. "That's wat I thought," she finished. "Ya can't do any of those things, so why do ya bother?"

She walked up behind him and put her hand on his broad shoulder. He turned to face her. "I know ya care about me," she said. "I've always known. But it ain't enough. I need more. Ya know everythin' about me, an' I know nothin' about you. Ya gonna have ta do better than that…."

Their eyes locked. Harley knew what was coming. She actually wanted it. There was no resistance. Batman dipped his head down and placed his lips upon hers. She carefully reached around him with her one good arm, pulling his face closer to hers. Their tongues danced. He pulled her body closer to him, her large breasts mashing against his suit. 'God, what would it feel like to have her naked against him,' he thought.

He broke the kiss first. "Harley…I…"

She smiled at him. "That was nice," she said. "I know ya can't say it, Bats…but I love ya too." She sighed. "Now I really need ta go."

She turned away from the dark figure, but thought better of it and faced him again. "I'll help ya….one condition. It's me that takes him down. Do we hav'a deal?"

Batman studied her. "Deal."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Barbara Gordon turned on her computer in the Clock Tower, Batman's secret mission outpost inside Gotham City. Batman had requested her to do a deeper scan of all criminal movements within the city. Specifically she was to look for anything suspicious involving Joker. Nothing popped.

She initiated com-link communication. "Bruce," she said. "I've had no luck in finding anything remotely involving the Joker except for the robbery attempt, which, of course, you already know."

"Is there anything we can use from the crime scene that might be able to tell us what Joker was looking for?" He asked, knowing the chances of anything of value still being there remote.

Barbara feverishly tapped the keys on her console. "Nothing, so far."

'Damn.' "There's got to be a connection between him and someone in the city. Dig deeper, Oracle. Find me something. I'm going to ask Harley Quinn if she knows."

Barbara winced at the mere mention of Quinn's name. "Is that a good idea? How do you know you can trust her?"

"Deep under the surface, she still has some good in her. Joker's hold isn't total. Harleen is still in there."

Barbara thought about his words. "O.K., I'll trust you to know what you're doing. Just don't let her cloud your judgement."

She heard the click of him signing off. 'Oh, Bruce, what have you gotten yourself into?'


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

' _Ding Dong'_. The sound came from Pamela Isley's apartment door. "Coming…."she sang.

Upon opening the door, Pamela was greeted by three of the largest men she had ever seen, aside from Batman. "Can I help you, gentlemen?"

The three looked at her and laughed. They moved inside, pushing Pamela aside brusquely. "Maybe if you hidin' Harley Quinn here," the leader of the group said. "Otherwise… we gots no use for ya'."

Pamela, or Poison Ivy, tried not to show anything on her face that would make them suspicious of her. "Why would she be here?" she asked, watering a large mantis plant. "I understand her to be Joker's Girl." God only knows why…

"Da Boss is lookin' for her," another chimed in. "She, er, ah, didn't come home a couple days ago, and he's worried about 'er."

'Oh I just bet he is,' Ivy thought. "So what does that mean to me?"

"Joker knows you two were 'friends' at one time. He's just lookin' out for his property; said to give you a message." With that, the goon took out a pair of flower trimmers and proceeded to kill a rare Hibiscus flower she had cultivated. Ivy screamed.

"For the Love of God! No!"

The leader spoke up again. "Tell Harley the boss wants to see her, or there'll be more where that came from."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

James Gordon picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number. _"Hello?"_

"Hello, baby. It's your father."

" _Hi, daddy. What can I do for you?"_

"I just wanted to see if you were available for lunch this afternoon," Jim intoned into the phone. "We haven't had any real father/daughter time in a long while."

" _I know, Dad. I've been really busy with my thesis. It's on crime and its effects on the city and the people that live here."_

Gordon was very proud of Barbara. She was studying at Gotham State University to be a Criminologist. The classes were tough. But she was highly intelligent, and savvy about the world and her surroundings.

" _I've got some free time today. Classes were cancelled because the air conditioning is on the fritz."_

Gordon laughed. "Sounds like here," he joked. "It's hotter than the fires of Hades in the precinct."

He heard her bubbly laugh on the other end of the line. _"What time did you wanna get together?"_

"Couple of hours from now?"

" _Sure, that would be great. See you then" 'CLICK'_

Gordon got up from his desk and made his way to the roof for some fresh air. A familiar figure was waiting for him.

"Jim…" the figure stated.

Gordon greeted him. "Batman….to what do I owe this pleasure? You don't usually come to the precinct in daylight. "

"I found Harleen Quinzel in an alley a couple of nights ago, beaten pretty badly. I think I've convinced her that Joker might not have her best interests at heart."

Jim looked at the man in front of him. "Was this part of that attempted robbery that came over the wire?"

"Yes. Harley didn't say what they were after only that Joker blamed her for botching it. Allowed his goons to have their way with her. Left her for dead."

'Harley….Batman called her Harley.' Gordon tucked this piece of information to the back of his mind. Was that an intentional slip, or did Batman unconsciously betray himself? "Do you have any idea which place they were going to rob?"

"I've got someone working on it," Batman said. "In the meantime, Quinn has agreed to help take Joker down. We'll see how it plays out. Might take a while. He can be very slippery."

Gordon cleared his throat. "Just let me know what I can do to help. By the way, Riddler's men coughed up some dope on Black Mask. I might need your help to piece it all together. Right now, I've got a date with Barbara."

"Alright," Batman said. "I'll look into it." And with that he was gone.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

"Hello, Love," Poison Ivy said upon opening the door. "I am so happy to see you."

Harley Quinn fell into Ivy's arms and planted a wet kiss on her full lips. "Pammy!" she cried. "I have missed you so much." She hugged her tighter. "I've missed this…" and she kissed her again.

Ivy looked at her friend, confidant, lover…whatever Harley was in that moment, with a cocked brow. "Where were you? Joker sent some idiots here looking for you."

"Those bozos couldn't find a needle in a haystack iffin it was in their asses," Harley replied. "I've been recuperatin'."

Ivy opened a cabinet in her bathroom and pulled out a bottle of green gel-caps. "Here," she handed the pills to Harley. "Well they knew enough to put my real name to a face."

"What are these for?" Harley already had a shot from Bats.

Ivy sat on a small green fainting couch. "They're boosters for your immune system," she said. "You only need to take one every 4 months. That way I don't have to give you a shot so often, seeing as you hate them."

Harley looked at the meds. "O.K."

"Now dish….tell me where you were. What happened to you?"

Harley decided to just level with Ivy. Tell the truth and not sugarcoat it. The heist, the abuse, being alone in the wet, and her savior: Batman.

Ivy stretched. "Oh My God Harley. How? Why?" Ivy could feel hatred welling up inside her. She despised the fact that Harley found Joker attractive to be around. Was her friend really that crazy? Sure she knew Harleen had studied the man, but he had warped her sense of reality, her very foundation of what love really was.

"But that's not all, Red," Harley said.

"There's more?"

Harley suddenly had an impish grin. "Bats kissed me…" she was beaming. "He actually kissed me. I thought it was odd that he was bein' kind, but then I realized that he's felt this way fer quite some time."

Ivy just looked at her. "I don't know what ta do," Harley continued. "I made a deal with B-Man ta bring Mistah J down. Part of me wants ta make that happen, and yet I don't. Another part wants Batman. What do I do?"


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

The front entrance of the Seagate Amusement Park creaked on its rusty hinges. Seagate had been closed for years due to mismanagement, faulty rides and a pervasive criminal element in the area. No one viewed it as a destination place, let alone a 'fun' place.

Harley Quinn was slightly limping her way across the courtyard and headed for the Fun House. The park was eerily quiet. She hadn't seen any goons posted anywhere. Maybe Joker had taken up residence somewhere else.

That hope was dashed upon opening the lair door. She saw him sitting at his desk feverishly going over his plans.

"Puddin'!" Harley exclaimed. "I'm home!"

Joker whirled out of his chair and was in her face almost immediately. "Just where have you been, Harley?" he asked with a leer on his face, and a look of 'I dare you to lie to me' in his eye, his white skin glistening with sweat. He grabbed her by the throat and pulled her closer to his face.

"M…M…Mistah J, I'm hurt," she stammered. "I found me a Mob Doc at the Stacked Deck ta fix me up. You wouldn't want your best henchwoman ta be out of commission, now would ya?"

Joker threw her aside. She landed on her injured leg and yelped. "Ow!"

Joker had returned to his desk. "It's the principle of the thing, Harley. We have a dynamic, you and I. I'm the boss, and you're the lackey. It's give and take, tit for tat." He laughed. "I don't care who hurt you, as long as you know who makes you smile!" He was silent for a moment. "And I don't ever intend to change."

Harley sat down on the ripped couch. Her 'babies' Bud and Lou nestled at her feet and began snoring. Maybe both Ivy and Bats were right. 'Joker had not asked her about her wounds, because he didn't care,' she surmised. She had agreed to see this through. She only hoped Joker didn't find out.

"Harley! Look alive…those three idiots will be back soon, and we can restart the plan. Give it a fresh approach.

"Y…y…yes, Sir."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Barbara Gordon scanned the network, digging for any information that could clue her and the Batman in on what the Jokers' plans were. She analyzed the area of the attempted robbery. CCTV footage, which was everywhere in Gotham, was practically non-existent in this area of the city. That must have been the reason Joker targeted it.

She punched up the Gotham City Directory. Nothing seemed to be standing out.

The elevator opened and Batman stepped into the middle of the room where Barbara sat, her wheelchair facing the huge array of computer monitors.

"Hi Bruce," she said, without even looking back. "I thought I'd dig around some more before meeting Dad for lunch."

"Oracle…What have you found?" Batman said in his dark, monotone.

Barbara clicked on the directory. "Here's a list of businesses in that area. I don't see any…"

"What's that one?" Batman cut her off, pointing to a business whose property owner was listed as 'F.F.S'.

"There's nothing in the data base," Barbara began, punching a further set of algorithms. "Wait, I've got it. 'False Face Society'. Maybe it's a fraternal club."

Batman looked closer. "No…not fraternal. Criminal. False Face Society was the name of Black Masks' gang several years ago until they were taken down by Detective Harvey Bullock. He's dabbled in different businesses as fronts for his drug manufacturing empire: Sionis Steel and Janus Cosmetics."

"Wow," Barbara remarked, pulling up a dossier of Sionis. "Black Mask appears to be more powerful than Carmine Falcone. He's got his fingers in every pie in the city."

Batman viewed monitors. "Yes, he does. Probably the greatest criminal strategist Gotham has ever seen. He also hates me, Bruce Wayne, as he sees me to be the reason for his business failures. Truth is he was never good at a 9 to 5 job. Crime is something he excelled at."

Barbara looked at the information closely. She audibly inhaled. "My God, that's insane."

Batman picked up on what she was referring to. "He's a sadist."

"So what would Joker be doing poking around in that area of the city?"

"Obviously, it has something to do with Roman's drug empire. We just need to dig deeper."

Barbara shut down the server. "How does Harley Quinn fit in the puzzle?" She turned her chair around and eyed Batman, trying to gauge his reaction to her name. She was not disappointed.

"Harley wants to take Joker down," he replied.

"I don't believe that. She's too invested in Joker to do that. And I know you, Bruce, more so than you like to give me credit for."

Batman's eyes began to betray him. "Look," Barbara said, "if you care about her, why would you let her go back to him? Why not keep her at the Cave?"

"It's not that simple, Barbara," he finally said. "We all have demons we have to face. Harleen needs to face hers."

"I only hope you know what you're doing."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

The light lit the room, illuminating the dust like a thin haze, in the abandoned Fun House.

"O.K. you fools, listen up." Joker wasn't a master at the pep talk, but he did command a presence. He strode to the center of the room. "It's the new and improved plan." With a flourish, he ripped a bedsheet from the cork-lined presentation board. "Ta Dah!"

Harley and the goons stood in rapt attention as Joker laid out the mission on the board. "It's all so simple, there should not be any fuck ups," he said. "Am I clear?"

"Yes Sir!" the four others chorused together.

Harley cleared her throat. "I have a question, Mistah J." She smiled a great big grin.

Joker approached her menacingly. "Yes, Pumpkin Pie?" he sneered.

She immediately felt intimidated. "Uh…ummm…who ya got on point?"

Joker placed his finger under her chin and stroked it. "Do you want to be on point?" he asked.

Harley looked at him for what seemed like eternity to her. It's as if he were daring her to say 'Yes'. She shook her head almost imperceptibly. "Rocco…" Joker began. "You're on point. Make me proud."

'Whew! Disaster averted,' Harley thought. She could now devote time to studying the plan and making Batman aware of what was going on. Did Joker suspect anything? She had always been on point before, and the results were usually the same.

Arky felt the need to chime in. "What about Bats, Joker?"

"What about him?" Joker asked. "I assume you all are versed in the finely tuned methods of killing flying rodents? If not, maybe you should be looking for employment elsewhere."

That seemed to satisfy the group.

"Rocco. I want you and the other two to round up as many of the old gang as you can get. We're gonna have a swell time," Joker said. "I love a party, and this one's gonna be a blast. Hahahahahahahha!"


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

"Daddy!" Barbara called. Gordon turned around as his daughter wheeled herself into Paulie's Diner. She looked radiant, and seemed to be dealing with her disability well.

"Hi, honey," Gordon said. He bent down and kissed her on the cheek. "Did you have any trouble getting here?"

Barbara took off her driving gloves and positioned herself next to a table. "No, it was fine," she replied. "I like this particular place, so I scoped out the easiest way to get here."

Gordon sat across from her. He cleared his throat. "So… on the phone you said you were working on your thesis. What's it called again?"

Barbara smiled at her father. _"The Rise and Fall of the Modern City: Citizens and Criminals"_ , she said. "It's quite a mouthful. "

"I can't wait to read it," her father encouraged. "Sounds like you've gotten a real handle on the subject."

'If you only knew,' Barbara thought. "I've been meaning to ask you about work, and specifically about Batman. I haven't heard any juicy stories lately. It would really help me finish up my thesis."

Gordon always tried to shield his daughter from his job. "Not much to tell," he sighed. "He brings them in, and we lock them up. I've been speaking with Mayor Burke about the possibility of augmenting our police resources. Batman is in favor of that, if it helps the citizens feel safer from non-metahuman criminals."

Barbara smiled. She knew that Batman was aware the GCPD was stretched to its limits. He didn't like involving the police in the capture of the heavy hitters unless it was absolutely necessary. She respected him for that, but she also could see her father's point of view, too. Batman wasn't a 'One Man Army' regardless of his opinion on the subject.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Two weeks had passed since she left the Bat Cave. Not one hint of movement had been turned up on what Joker's plans were. The only clues were the names of a property and a lessee. In fact, this was the first time in these two weeks that Harley Quinn had reached out to Batman. He didn't quite know what to make of that.

Batman turned on the radar screen. The faint green blip got brighter as he approached the rendezvous point. He had not told Harley the exact location of the Bat Cave. He needed that secret to remain intact. He wanted to make sure she was completely on board with the decision to take Joker down.

The Batmobile slowed to a crawl on the empty road and pulled next to the tree line at an abandoned Gotham Gas station.

He waited. Soon he was rewarded with the sight of her. She was wearing black and red, skintight leather pants with boots. The pants looked to be three sizes too small for her. The straps of her thong panties were just visible above her belt. Her waist was cinched in a matching leather and cotton corset, squeezing her already huge breasts into a lovely picture of cleavage. She wore no bra. Capping this off was her leather red and black halter jacket. Her signature pancake white face and mask completed the ensemble. He was immediately aroused.

She entered the car and Batman pulled away, putting the machine in 'Stealth Mode'.

"Quinn," he said. "Were you followed?"

Harley eyed him closely. "No need ta be so formal, Bats," she said. "No, I don't think I was. I made sure ta double back a lot, ta throw off tha scent."

"Good." Batman flipped a switch and a silent stream of air wafted its way into Harley's face. Suddenly, her eye lids became heavy and she drifted into an induced sleep, her head lolling to one side.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

' _Puddin',_ the note began, _'I went to Ivy's place to talk girlie talk. (hee hee) I will be out for a while. I can't wait ta see you when I get back. Luv ya, Harls'._

Joker tossed the note aside. Looks like Poison Ivy might be a problem. 'Hmmm. I must remember to pay her a visit.' Joker tapped his fingers on the table. "Rocco…Zed…Arky...what's for dinner?" Joker asked as he noticed Harley's bat in the corner.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

Harley stirred out of her slumber. Once again she was on a gurney in an all familiar place: the Bat Cave. Last she remembered was getting in the Batmobile. "Must've secretly gassed me," she said aloud.

No one appeared to be around, including the English guy, Alfred. Where were they? Did they trust her here alone? Were they secretly watching her via hidden camera? These are the 64 Thousand Dollar Questions.

She heard water. Not the water from the tiny waterfall stream running through the cave, but running water from a faucet. Or was it a shower?

Hopping down off the gurney, she slowly made her way to the sound. It was coming from around the corner of a wall in the room she was occupying. She peeked around the wall and noticed a large, glass enclosure filled with steam, just enough to obscure but not enough to completely hide who it was: tall, muscular, powerful and naked: Batman.

A devilish grin played across her crimson lips. She stripped down to her birthday suit, leaving her mask in place. She ran her hands over her hairless body. 'Now or never,' she told herself, and opened the shower and closed it behind her.

The powerful man turned around, and Harley's eyes just stared in open awe of him. His face was not hidden. She could see all of him. She knew him. He said nothing. He didn't have to. He held out his arms.

She slowly removed her mask letting it fall to the floor. "Yahtzee!" she exclaimed, leaping into those outstretched arms. She flailed her arms around his neck, her lips on his, legs around his hips, his hands cupping her ass. And as he lowered her onto himself, she began moaning in ecstasy.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Jim Gordon perused the files of information on Roman Sionis that Riddler's informants coughed up. The man had been a virtual recluse for months. Nobody had seen him or heard from him. Yet according to Batman, all his properties were being maintained by someone. Someone, who obviously didn't want to be known.

"Bullock," he said, poking his head out of his office into the bullpen. "Can you come in for a minute?"

Harvey Bullock was a long time homicide detective with the force and good friend of Gordon. Slightly overweight, he always managed to deliver in a pinch, even when the odds seemed stacked against him.

Harvey closed the door behind him. "What's up, Jim?" he asked.

"Do you remember anything about Roman Sionis? You might've known him as Black Mask."

Harvey thought a moment. That had been several years ago. "Real whack-job," Harvey mused. "He liked dishing out pain just for the sheer fun of it. His gang F.F.S. was just as bad." Harvey poured himself a little drink, from the stash he knew Jim had hidden in the filing cabinet. "They were really tough to take down."

"F.F.S.? "

"False Face Society. I doubt there are any of them still crawling around. What's this all about?"

Gordon leaned back in his chair. "Black Mask is nowhere to be found. Joker was sniffing around an area of the city, where it appears he may have had a hideout at one time. " He pointed to a spot on the map.

Harvey looked at the location. "That can't be right," he said. "I worked that case for months, and never once were we ever in that area."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Bruce Wayne awoke from a well-deserved sleep. He could not remember having slept that soundly in his life. It was a little disconcerting to find himself in his room inside the manor house. He had no recall as to how he might have gotten there.

A figure stirred next to him and draped themselves across his body. "Mornin' Lover," the figure cooed.

Bruce looked at her. Harley Quinn was completely naked next to him, devoid of any make-up. She was smiling radiantly at him, a satiated look on her face. Visions of the night filled his mind. The sex had been outstanding, Olympic actually.

"Good morning, Harleen." He kissed her softly. The realization of the moment finally hit him. She knew his secret, knew who he was, where he lived. The damage she could do with that information. How in God's Name had this happened? Oh yes, the shower. Her back shoved against the wet glass, water cascading down her glorious body. Just the mere thought made him hard again.

Harley looked at him. The fact that he used her real name was not lost on her. She smiled again. "I know wat yer thinkin," she said. "You have nothing ta worry about, Brucie. It happened. I think you and I both knew it was gonna happen. I know I wanted it to. Please…tell me you wanted this, too."

He sat up. "Of course I did," Bruce replied, "more than you can possibly know. I'd be lying otherwise. But there might be repercussions…if others put two and two together."

She thought on that for a moment. "I tell ya wat. I promise: I won't call ya Bruce when I see ya as Batman." She kissed him again. "Now, does that reassure ya?"

Bruce nodded. "Yes. Although we're going to have to do something to make the fact we know one another absolutely believable."

Harley's hands had been roaming freely over his body. "But, I do underst…." She stopped. "Ohhh, and just what do we have here?" she asked, her hand finding and stroking his rock hard member.

Bruce grinned. Harley thought that might be the first time she had ever seen a smile on his face. "I think we both know what that is," he said. Harley squirmed as he ran his fingers between her legs.

Harley hummed. "But, I think it deserves a lil' investigatin'." And with that, Harley sought him out with her mouth. Her tongue felt like 50 thousand volts coursing through him.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

The door to the apartment exploded off its hinges from the force of the blast. A loud, excruciatingly grating to the ears laugh echoed throughout the building. Joker had arrived and arrived in style.

Tentacles snaked their way from two man eaters and each took down a goon. Joker's gun roared and the tentacles retreated. Poison Ivy was standing in the middle of the room, arms outstretched, red hair waving wildly, commanding the greenery. "What the Hell are you doing here?" Ivy commanded.

Joker pointed the gun at Ivy as a large group of goons encircled her. "Well, well, well, Vine Lady," Joker laughed, "looks like we're at an impasse. You could do us all a favor and spill on my Clown of Hijinks' shenanigans. Or, you can become plant food." He leered with a toothy grin. "But, then again, you might have some use to me after all."

Ivy was lost. She had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. "You're crazy, Joker," she spat. "I don't keep track of Harls. She's her own woman. The fact that she comes here to get away from you should tell you something."

Joker slapped her backwards. "You dare sass me, Ivy?" His goons moved in closer. "I can take you out at any time. Now, let's try this again. Where is she?"

Ivy tried to collect herself. "I don't know. Please, I don't know." For someone who didn't seem to give two fucks about Harley, Joker appeared mightily preoccupied with her whereabouts.

Joker eyed Ivy with skepticism. "Oh, my dear, but I believe you do," he said. "You see, she left according to her note, to come here for 'girl talk', which I can only surmise to be a euphemism for a tawdry love affair. I put it together when I saw her bat in the corner. She never goes anywhere without it…unless it's to see someone other than me. Someone she trusts."

Poison Ivy's eyes betrayed her. "Well, she does have a sledge hammer, in case you've forgotten," Ivy replied.

"And here I was thinking I was the only one she could possibly care about," Joker continued. "Well, Harley is mine, mine! You hear me?" Joker grabbed her by the throat and threw her across the room.

Ivy passed out. "Well, that's not gonna work," Joker sighed.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

Bruce Wayne strode through the door of 'Chez Martine' with a box of candy in his hand. He had arranged to meet Harleen Quinzel in public so they could discuss their plans with no one being the wiser. She would portray his personal secretary.

He spotted her sitting at a table near the rear wall of the restaurant. He waved. She waved back.

"Harleen, so nice to see you," he said, planting a kiss on her cheek. "I hope you like chocolates." He placed a large box on the table.

"What girl doesn't like chocolate, Bruce?" she cooed. No trace of her Brooklyn accent to be found, a very professional sounding woman to be sure.

Bruce scanned his surroundings. No paparazzi yet. He helped her into her seat and then took his place. 'That's a relief,' he thought. Although, he knew they might eventually show up.

"When Alfred brought me here, he didn't even hint that he knew who I was or what I was doing at your house," Harley said.

"Alfred," Bruce said, "is loyal, trustworthy and most of all, discreet, to a fault."

A waiter approached them. Bruce ordered wine and each of their meals. He then proceeded to get to the matter at hand.

"Now are you sure you want to do this?" he asked where only they could hear each other.

"Yes, I am," she replied. "I can't live like this anymore. I don't understand how I could have been manipulated so easily."

"With Joker, it's never 'cut and dried'," Bruce said reassuringly. "But it wasn't your fault. " He cleared his throat. "I just wanted to make you aware of the risk involved."

Their food arrived. After a few small bites, Harley asked: "So why meet in public? Isn't that taking a huge unnecessary risk?"

Bruce dabbed his lips with his napkin. "You would think so," he began, "but it's actually quite the opposite. The general public does not know that Harleen Quinzel is 'Harley Quinn'. Bruce Wayne is considered a 'Playboy', and if he's seen out with a beautiful woman, especially his personal secretary, tongues will wag, but it will also afford me extra time to be away from the office to work on the mission. Everyday I'm gone from the office is audited by someone." He sipped his wine. "It was set up that way by my father."

Harley looked at him, almost as if she might be offended. "So I'm your girlfriend now?" she asked with a cocked eyebrow, and a wicked grin.

"I suppose you could say that."

"I _do_ say that." She paused. "By the way, I wanted to apologize for that time I tried to rob you. I hope you won't hold that against me…"

He looked at her. "You didn't actually manage to take anything, so we're good."

"…and the time Ivy and I poisoned you."

Bruce smirked slightly. "And here I thought you kissed me because you wanted to," he said.

Both of them laughed at this.

They watched each other eat for several minutes. Bruce spoke first. "When we get back to the manor, I've got some things I'll need to run by you and give you for the mission."

Harley smiled. "I've got somethin' I'm gonna run by ya too," she said, deliberately slipping into her accent.

Bruce took Harley's hand in his.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

Unbeknownst to both Bruce and Harleen, a lone figure in 'Chez Martine' was taking in the sights. Sitting at an out of the way table was socialite and social manipulator Veronica Vreeland, daughter of General Vreeland. She was discreetly observing the pair at their cloistered table. She had unsuccessfully tried to woo Bruce Wayne on numerous occasions, but had always been unsuccessful in her advances.

Veronica could not hear their conversation, but she could tell the woman was enamored with Bruce. It was not until the woman spoke loudly in her Brooklyn-ese that she put two and two together: Harley Quinn. 'So, that's what she looks like out of costume,' Veronica mused silently. 'What is she doing with Bruce? And I didn't think Blondes were his type.'

Bruce took Harleen's hand and stroked it. Veronica desperately wanted to hear what was being said, but she knew moving would draw attention to herself. She would just have to watch and learn.

Bruce and Harley's meal was wrapping up. Bruce stood, pulled out Harley's chair and helped her stand. He helped her with her jacket, and the two walked calmly to the exit.

Veronica made her way to the exit surreptitiously. Bruce and Harley walked to the right after leaving the building. They were headed to Wayne Enterprises. 'What to make of that?' Veronica thought.

She stopped at a nearby newsstand. She knew someone who would be interested in this information, someone who would pay; handsomely.

"I'll take a copy of the Gotham Gazette," Veronica told the newsie.

She thumbed through the paper until she reached the classified section.

'No.'

'No.'

'Yes! Here it is. "Henchmen wanted: Flamboyant and debonair Man About Town in search of compatible partners in crime. Recent Blackgate or Arkham parolees preferred. Must be OK with having fun, and must possess a sense of humor. Reply: Joe Kerr, XYJ-4545"


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-Four

Harleen Quinzel emerged from the bathroom, after a second torrid love-making session, fully returned to her Harley persona. Bruce was not in the room. She looked out the balcony doors: no Bruce. She looked down the hallway: no Bruce. He had not come into the bathroom. Where the Hell was he?

A piece of paper on the nightstand caught her eye. 'Go to the grandfather clock in the hall, and turn the dial to 11.' Moving out in the hall, it took about a minute to find the clock. She turned the hands to 11, and the clock sank backwards into the wall and slid to the right. In front of her was an elevator. She stepped in and pressed the button. In less than 30 seconds it came to rest at the bottom of the shaft that opened into the Bat Cave.

Batman was already at the map table looking at holographic images. "You look….nice," he said.

"Thanks, Bats," Harley cooed. "I picked this outfit just fer you." She moved into his personal space, rubbing her body against his suit. "You were wonderful."

Batman really looked at her. It was the same outfit she'd had on the day before. His gaze returned to the table. "According to this map, this is the area you and Joker were in the night I found you," he said. "There doesn't seem to be anything remarkable about this area except for the fact that Roman Sionis owns property there."

"Yeah, Mistah J said Black Mask was crucial ta tha plan."

"And that plan is…?"

Harley pointed to one building in particular. "That one. Black Mask has a secret stash of untraceable Strychnodide in that building," Harley said. "I'm talkin' several thousand pounds. Joker was going ta combine it with a new powdered form of 'Joker Gas', and distribute it ta drug lords all across tha nation."

"To what end?" Batman asked.

Harley shrugged. "That part of tha plan he keeps secret. I have tha S.T.A.R. Labs report that shows tha exact amount ta use," she said. "Joker had me get it, but he never asked fer it after I got it." She handed a slip of paper to Batman. "I figure he needed Black Mask ta institute the plan, with his drug connections and whatnot. I'm guessin' he must've moved it by now."

"No, there's been no movement in that area." Batman waved his hand over the table and the images disappeared. Harley was amazed. "Wow." He placed the piece of paper in his scanner and returned the original to her.

"I see you've healed quite nicely," he began. "I was going to mention it earlier, but I became somewhat …preoccupied."

Harley was blushing under her white make-up. She laughed a little impishly. "Yeah, about that," she said. "Poison Ivy has been giving me shots fer a while ta make me immune ta toxins and certain chemicals. It altered my physical strength ta make me more agile. I guess it makes me heal fast, too. Like her plants."

Batman nodded. "Ivy could have made a great scientist. She let her hatred of mankind get in the way. But at least she cares for you."

Harley swallowed. "Bru…Bats," she stammered. "I…I don't think I can go back. I don't want ta go back. If Mistah J finds out where I've been, he'll kill me. You've seen what his goons did to me. How they hurt me." Her eyes began to water and she sniffed. "I think I'm in love with you…no, I know I love you."

Batman looked at Harley for several seconds. "Please," she continued, "I have ta know…please…"

"Yes, Harleen...I love you."

Harley smiled. "But," Batman interjected, "you have to go back. Your goal to take Joker down won't work if you don't. I'll protect you. I'll trace you, that way I can keep tabs on you. Make sure you're O.K."

"I'm scared, Bats, really scared," Harley sighed as she moved into his arms again, her head resting on his chest. "What iffin he finds out about us?"

He hugged her for several minutes, finally kissing her lips to reassure her that his promises were real.

After a few more minutes, curiosity got the better of him. "Harley, what did you do to botch the first robbery?"

Harley's voice was almost a whisper. "I set off tha alarm."


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

Ivy awoke to find herself in a glass enclosure about the size of a shipping container. There was a chair to one side with a table and bed. The other end had a little room with a bathroom inside. A single light hung from a wire in the center of the enclosure, barely illuminating the space.

"Ah, I see our guest is alive," a familiar voice spoke. "No doubt you're probably wondering where and why, and we'll get to that. But first, I'm going to need your help. And you will give me what I want."

Poison Ivy stood up from the bed. "And just what makes you think I'll ever help you?" she demanded.

Joker appeared from the shadows. "Because if you don't, you can kiss your girlfriend goodbye," he sneered. "Ha ha ha ha ha". Ivy stared at him. "But even if you don't help, I'll probably kill her anyway."

Ivy widened her eyes in fear. "Joker, why don't you just let her go? You obviously don't love her," she said. "Make it easier for her."

"That's not really an option," he said. "Making me the laughing stock of my own jokes, trying to be the comedian and make me the straight man. I can't have that kind of disloyalty."

'Joker really is crazy,' Ivy thought. "You're insane."

"And I thought I was a Scorpio," he retorted.

Joker stared at her. Ivy found herself backing down. "Just what is it you want me to do?"

"Harley and the boys and I, will be taking a short trip soon," Joker explained. "I'm making up a new and improved version of Joker Gas and I need your help to synthesize the final product into usable form. Seems I cannot trust Black Mask to be around when needed. And, well you see, I've been studying up on you, and I've made an excellent discovery. What with your scientific background, I figure you're the perfect fit for the job."

"Joker Gas…I should have known."

"That's only the beginning. The punchline comes later."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

"Hey Boss," Zed said, his hand over the phone's mouthpiece. "There's some broad on the phone who wants to talk to ya. She said her name's Screamland, or something like that."

Joker cocked his right brow. "What are you yammering about, Zed?"

"Dis lady," Zed repeated, "She said…"

"Yes, yes, I know what you said… Screamland. You said she wants to talk to me?"

Zed nodded.

"Well let's have her," Joker replied.

Zed handed Joker the phone. "If you gotta dime, I've got the time," he chirped into the phone.

" _Mr. Joe Kerr?"_ the voice purred.

"Joker here."

" _I've got some information I think you're going to be really interested in."_

"O.K., out with it."


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven

The Batmobile pulled to a stop three blocks from the amusement park. Batman was really taking a chance bringing Harley this close to the hideout. He certainly didn't want to be discovered, but more importantly, he didn't want Joker to suspect anything. But, he had needed to get her back in the area as soon as possible.

Harley looked at the eyes behind the mask. "What'cha thinkin', Bats?" she asked.

Batman tried to find the words. "You were right, maybe you shouldn't go back," he finally said. "I don't know what I would do if something happened to you."

Harley stroked his cheek with her hand. "Nothin's gonna happen to me, Batsy. I promise." She smiled. "He probably doesn't even know I'm gone."

"Harleen…I…I don't trust him." She was feeling a little unnerved. It wasn't like Batman to be this unsure of himself.

"Bruce…This isn't like you. But, it's O.K. I love you, and I know ya will protect me," she finally said. "I've got tha tracker imbedded just under tha skin at my wrist. Everythin' will be fine. Ya convinced me that I had nothin' ta worry about. I believed ya." She kissed him. "Now, how do I contact ya iffin I need ya?"

Batman pulled out a small pellet like device from his utility belt. "Keep this in your pocket," he instructed. "It's a battery. At the slightest hint of danger, or if you just need to tell me what's up, press the left temple of your mask. It will activate a signal in a sub-frequency transmitter. It will allow you to communicate verbally with me."

"Wow, that's some real high-tech shit there, Bats," Harley remarked. "I'm impressed."


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Batman arrived at the clock tower to meet with Oracle. Ever since Barbara had been paralyzed at the hand of the Joker, she had been employed by Bruce Wayne as an official information gatherer for Batman. She was computer savvy, and took her job quite seriously. Being confined to a wheelchair didn't seem to slow her down. And although she could not be Batgirl any longer, this was the best way she knew to help take down the criminal element that permeated Gotham like a sickness.

He handed her the copy of the paper he had received from Harley Quinn. She placed it in her document reader and keyed up a screen. Chemical breakdowns, ingredient lists, and side affects all presented themselves.

"This formulation is nothing like we've ever seen before," she said. "It seems to have similar side effects as previous versions, but with one added feature. It causes severe, irreversible brain damage over time to the unwitting victim, even after periods of exposure to the main ingredients."

Barbara continued reading. "Didn't Harley tell you it was a new powdered form of his gas? Batman, it's not."

Batman looked at the formulation. "He has truly gone insane," he said. "Harley didn't mention this."

Barbara looked at him. "She probably doesn't know. Maybe we can set a trap for him ourselves, and minimize the risk."

Batman thought about this for a few minutes. Barbara wheeled around to face him. "Bruce, how far are you willing to let her go to take him down? She could be in a lot of danger here."

"Barbara, she knows the risks," Batman said. "She truly seems to want to be free of him. I made a deal with her, that she would be the one to take him down. She deserves that. After all the violence he's put her through."

"I know you care about her," Barbara said. "I can see it in your face. Aren't you the least bit afraid for her?"

"It scares the hell out of me, but it's the only way. She has to be close to him for it to work. I cannot get that close to him, but she can. I have to trust her." Batman cleared his throat. "I've seen him mistreat her, first hand."

"I know."

"She's being monitored," Batman continued. "She'll let me know the moment something goes wrong."

'But by then, it might be too late,' Barbara told herself silently.

Batman pulled a vial from his belt. "Establish a blood profile on Harley. I want you to analyze it to see if she's been exposed even in the slightest."

"Sure."


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty-Nine

"Puddin', I'm ho-ome!"

Joker looked at Harley as she somersaulted into the room, not one hint of anything amiss. His eyes nor his body betrayed him in any way. He wasn't entirely sure Miss Vreeland's information was accurate, but at this moment, what did it matter? Harley appeared happy, and that wasn't like her at all.

"Harls," he sang, "so glad you're here. Do you still have that piece of information I asked you to get?"

Harley fished in her back pants pocket. "Right-a-Roonie! You should know, Mistah J, I'd neva let ya down."

"Good Girl, Harley," Joker said. "The best 'Gal Friday' a guy could ever ask for."

Harley grinned from ear to ear. Joker wanted to bitch-slap that grin right off her pancake face. But he checked himself. The information he possessed would come in most handy at a later time.

She handed him the slip of paper. Joker almost cackled with glee.

"Yes, YES! Just what the good Doctor ordered!" he exclaimed, "must get to work right away." He pinched Harley's cheek.

Sitting down, he glanced back at Harley. "Harls, be a lamb, and fetch me a snack."

"Sure thing, Mistah J."


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

Batman and Commissioner Gordon stood at the non-descript crypt in Gotham Forever Cemetery. Gordon had been feverishly working on the information from Riddler's informants on Roman Sionis' whereabouts. With the information that Harvey Bullock had in his case files, and with the aid of Batman, he had started to finally piece it together.

It led them here. "I called you, Batman, because I didn't know what to expect," Gordon explained.

"Better safe than sorry, Jim." Batman said. "I'll check for any traps before we go in." He pulled his scanner from his belt, and gave the crypt a good onceover.

"There's nothing. Shall we?"

Batman sprayed the lock with acid, and it fell open. The duo walked inside and down a flight of steps to the sepulcher. What they found surprised them both.

"Who is it?" Gordon asked, shining his flashlight on a fully dressed corpse.

Batman took out his biometric scanner, and scanned the remains. "Roman Sionis," he said. "Dead. Months it seems. And from the looks of it, he didn't go quietly."

"Months? Then who's been keeping his properties up?" Gordon asked confused.

"Riddler, obviously," Batman said. "But I don't know the reason."

"We can force him to tell us," Gordon said.

"He would never talk," Batman replied, "so it would be useless to even try."

Batman studied. "All we do know is Joker wanted a chemical from one of Romans' properties," he said.

"The one Joker was planning on robbing," Jim added.

"Maybe."

"But Harvey said they had never investigated the F.F.S. in that area," Jim said, "so obviously it was a mistake."

"It makes me think that the chemical was never actually there, and it was a fluke that Harley botched the robbery in her haste to please Joker," Batman concluded.

Gordon mused for a moment. Moments were all you got with the Batman. "Well, if not there, where?" he asked. "Why would Joker try to rob a place that didn't have what he wanted?"

"That's just it, he wouldn't," Batman said. "He was looking for Sionis, same as we were. Harley said that he was necessary for the plan to work. I believe it has to do with his chemical background. And if Sionis has been dead for months as it appears, Joker would need to have a backup in place."

Batman tapped his left wrist. "Alfred," he said. "Who in our database would have the chemical knowhow and knowledge to pull off a complete synthesis of Joker's new gas?"

"One moment, Sir," Alfred said. "Ah…yes. Here it is. Pamela Isley, extremely knowledgeable in chemicals and toxins; biological or otherwise."

"Thank you." Signing off, he looked at Gordon. "Poison Ivy is who we need to find. Joker probably has her."

"Then we're doomed," Jim sighed.

"Not quite."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty-One

Two weeks later, Rocco, Zed and Arky were out doing evening patrol around the amusement park. It was humid, but not horrid. "Man that was a great night," Zed said, all nostalgic.

"Yeah," Rocco said. "She was tighter'n Hell."

Arky, not wanting to be left out, said, "Her mouth was like a vacuum."

All three laughed at this. "And the way she was screaming...man you musta been tappin' bottom," Arky told Rocco.

Rocco was the bigger of the three, so naturally he was the leader. "This is our little secret, got it?" he told the other two. "I don't think she'll ever say anything, but if she does, it'll be worse next time."

Harley Quinn was standing just in the shadows, out of sight of the goon trio. What she heard made her feel violently ill. Sure, Joker hit her on occasion, even pushed her through a window from time to time. Maybe he even pointed a gun to her head. But he had never done anything even remotely like these three bozos. However, since he didn't stop it, he must have condoned it.

'Goddamned, sonofabitch, doesn't love me,' she thought. 'His compassion is all phony.' Harley wanted to kill these three, but that would ruin the plan to take Joker down. She needed to wait a little longer.

She turned her thoughts to Batman. Now, there was a man she could get all excited about. Rough but tender, all at the same time. 'Sexy as Hell, and my God could he screw,' she thought.

She lightly tapped her temple. "Hey, B-Man….you there?"

"Yes, Harley, I'm here," she heard Batman respond. "Is there something wrong?"

Harley sighed. "No, I…I…I just miss ya," she finally said. "We haven't seen each other in a few weeks. I want ya..." She paused. "…seeing as I'm yer Girlfriend and all."

She heard Batman audibly inhale. "I miss you, too, Harleen," Batman said, using her real name. "I'm on patrol tonight, Upper West Side."

"Righto, Bats…see ya"


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty-Two

It took her an hour, but Harley Quinn had managed to get away and head for the Upper West Side. It was the same area Joker was casing about two months ago. 'What could be significant about this area?' she thought. Batman must be onto a lead or something.

She was on the rooftop across from Marco's Shoe Store, the corner building. She leaped across an alleyway onto the Cassidy Toys building, landing a combat roll on her feet. She rounded the stairwell encasement, and there he was: his back to her. He had to know she was here. She wasn't being that quiet about it.

"I was wondering if you were going to show," he said, not bothering to look in her direction.

Harley swayed her hips as she walked slowly to him. "I couldn't resist," she said. "I think ya knew that, too."

"There are a lot of things I know," he replied. "That doesn't mean I have to act on them."

She smiled as she ran her hand over his broad shoulders and wheeled herself in front of him. She placed her hands on his expansive chest. "Don't be mad, Bats," she cooed. "I'm just here ta get what's mine…"

Batman pulled her into his personal space. "Ohh, rough…I like it," she said, flashing that wicked grin of hers.

Batman caught her lips with his. The kiss was hot and deep, tongues fighting for space. She pulled away.

"Not yet, Bats," she said. "Some questions first."

"Fine."

"What's it about this area that's so important?" she began.

Batman scanned the lay of the land before him. "You know that Sionis owns that building over there," he said.

"Yeah."

"You said that Joker was going to rob it because it had chemicals inside that he needed," Batman pushed.

"Yeah, that's what he said."

Batman looked at her and then back at Romans' building. "It was a lie. The chemical isn't there. It never was."

Harley looked dumbfounded. "But why? Why would he say that?"

"Sionis is dead. He has been for a while now. Joker was looking for him, not the chemicals. I surmise he already had those."

Harley thought a moment. "He did have a large shippin' container made of glass," she said. "He put it in tha maintenance building at the hideout."

"Glass?"

"Yeah, but I haven't seen it since," she continued. "He won't let me go in there. He said he's got a top notch scientist working on his formula."

"Did you question him on who it was?"

"No."

Batman remained quiet for several minutes. Harley had slowly undone her top, letting her heavy breasts free from the confines of their corset. Batman's back was still turned to her.

"It's a nice night," she purred. "Kinda hot, too."

Batman turned to see her half naked. She was slowly teasing her nipples with her fingers. "Harley, I…"

"Ya like?"

"Always,"

Suddenly a thought occurred to her. "Let's leave our costumes on tonight. 'Kay?"

Batman moved towards her, removing his gauntlets to allow his fingers to manipulate her breasts. "What do you have in mind?" he asked.

Harley smiled her impish grin. "We're gonna bang, Bats. I'm sure there's a mattress around here somewhere. I want you ta bang me fer all I'm worth." At that, she knelt in front of him. Pressing a secret clasp, she managed to undo the front of his uniform pants, freeing him to her wanting eyes. She licked her lips and began working on him with her mouth.

Batman rocked back on his heels. Well, so much for patrol. It was going to be a long


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter Thirty-Three

Barbara Gordon placed Harley's blood in the analyzer. She tapped an algorithm on her computer, and the analyzer began to whirr. Batman had been very trusting of Harley these last few weeks and he seemed to be keeping everything in check. But now, wanting Harley's blood analyzed, told her that he was genuinely worried for Harley's safety.

Her computer began piecing the profile together. The sample showed signs of a neurotoxin inhibitor, GX-35-A. This seemed to be something that had been injected on a regular basis. More recently though, was the ALESA 10 Maxi-booster. Barbara knew this was a gel cap taken orally. Tapping on her keyboard brought up its core side effects: increased stamina, increased sexual desire, higher than normal regeneration of tissue and bone structure. Agility also seemed to be heightened.

'Harley, where are you getting this from?' Barbara asked herself. She cross-referenced the compounds with other known samples in the database. A name popped up: Poison Ivy.

The computer continued its profile. Batman's fears could be allayed. Harley showed no signs of contamination with the Strychnodide that Sionis had been hiding. So she was clean there. Still the computer did its thing.

Finally, with the profile completed, Barbara looked at all the information and one piece jumped out at her. This was a bombshell that even she wasn't prepared for.

Harley Quinn was pregnant.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty-Four

Joker slammed his fist down on the desk. "No… No….NO! That isn't gonna work," he said. "I must reconfigure the spray pattern, for maximum effect."

He got up and exited the Fun House. Making his way across the park, he entered the maintenance facility. Poison Ivy was seated at a table in her glass enclosure, calculating the right formulations for the new gas Joker wanted.

"Pamela," Joker began, "how's it coming on my new formula? Will it work or not?"

Ivy looked at him. "I cannot work with you yammering at me," she said. "But, yes, I think it will work."

Joker howled with laughter. "Excellent!"

Ivy asked, "Why are you doing this? What's in it for you? And more importantly, what happens to Harley?"

Joker shot her a look that would have melted steel. "Harls is like a pet to me, you know, the kind you kick around and they still keep coming back for more. Heh heh heh. I like poodles…do you like poodles?"

"I can take them or leave them. What's that got to do with Harley?"

"Harley...was I talking about Harley? Gee, these last few weeks have all been a blur; I can't keep two thoughts together."

Joker sat down in a nearby chair. "You see, Vines, it's like this," he said. "The country will soon turn into a bunch of brain-fried zombies. Oh they'll be functioning zombies, don't you fret, but they'll be crazy. Like me…hahahahahahahahahaha. And the best part? Batman will be right there with them. No one is safe."

"Except me," Poison Ivy replied. "You forgot your toxin doesn't work on me."

Joker leered at Ivy. "Red, I've got that covered. When the plan has been set into motion, I plan on killing you," he said.

"Again, you lunatic...what about Harley?" Ivy was really starting to panic.

"Oh…I don't know…I may keep her around…Or I could just kill her too."


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty-Five

Bruce Wayne's Lamborghini pulled up at the apartment building Pamela Isley resided in. He remembered the place from their previous encounter. Walking up three flights of stairs, he paused at room 306 and knocked.

There was no answer. He tried the doorknob and the door opened with ease. 'Hmm,' he thought, 'something amiss here.'

Taking a mini scanner from his pocket, he surveyed the room. Signs of a scuffle appeared on the floor, and a gunshot impact revealed itself in the plaster wall next to the fireplace. He also noticed that someone had appeared to have been violently thrown across the room. All the plants were dead as well. He dug the bullet from the plaster.

Pressing a button on his watch caused a holographic screen to appear. "Alfred," he said. "I'm sending you a scan of a bullet fragment from Ivy's apartment. See if you can narrow it down to a shooter."

"Right away, Sir," Alfred replied. "I take it Miss Isley isn't present?"

"No, she isn't. There seems to have been an altercation here."

"Well, if intuition means anything," Alfred said, "we at least know you're on the right trail. The bullet comes from a weapon only used by the Joker. It's his signature ammunition. No biologicals present."

"That's very revealing. Then my hunch to Commissioner Gordon was correct," Bruce replied. "The Joker has Poison Ivy. She's innocent in this, definitely being forced to do Joker's bidding." He looked around the room. "I'll have to coordinate with the GCPD to make sure she isn't harmed." He picked up several potted plants. "I'm going to bring her plants back to the Bat Cave and see if there's anything to do to reincarnate them."

"Right, I'll prepare the greenhouse," Alfred said, and signed off.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter Thirty-Six

Harley Quinn wiped her mouth with a cloth. She had just finished breakfast and suddenly became ill. She felt nauseous and had a major headache from having thrown up violently. She opened her medicine cabinet in the Fun House restroom and took one of her green gel-caps. 'Maybe it would make her feel better,' she thought. "Couldn't hurt." She touched up her pancake face and lipstick.

She walked into the room where Joker was holding court with his minions. "Harley," he said, "so glad you decided to join us. Now as I was saying: Rocco, Zed and Arky are my men on the ground. Rocco is on point. All of you will follow his orders, am I clear?"

A resounding "Yes" went up from the crowd. "Good," he said. "Harley, you'll be lookout this time. And I don't expect any problems."

"Right-a-Roonie, Mistah J." Harley didn't make eye contact with him, but did manage to keep from barfing again. Rocco noticed that Harley wasn't looking at Joker but at him. He shrugged it off.

"Harley, pumpkin pie," Joker said, "you look like death warmed over. Maybe you should take some rest."

"I just feel a lil' sick is all," she replied. "and a lil' tired."

'I'm sure you do,' Joker thought. 'Bruce Wayne must be an animal, keeping you up all night.' Joker was still sitting on the information Miss Vreeland had given him. He had not decided when to use it. But, he was seething underneath his rictus grin. 'I must remember to pay Wayne a visit real soon.'

"I'll be fine," Harley continued. "I'm here fer ya, all tha way."

Zed asked the next question. "What'll we do if the Bat shows up?"

"Well, my boys," Joker said, "you men will be armed with special weapons that should take care of our flying rodent problem. Heh heh hee. More bang for the buck, as they say. And they should be, cos they weren't free!"

"And the GCPD? What about them?" Arky asked.

"They will be no problem whatsoever," Joker said. "My plant in the GCPD is working his magic right as we speak."

Harley looked at Joker. "Ya know, Mistah J, I think I'll lie down while yer gone to get the vans." Harley's mind was swirling with ideas. It would be the perfect chance to see inside the maintenance facility to confirm Batman's suspicions. Besides, Joker and his goons would be gone for several hours.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Harley walked calmly to the maintenance building located across the courtyard behind the Ferris wheel.

The door was locked. A quick perusal of the perimeter offered an open window in the rear of the building. Harley climbed a stack of crates and crawled through the narrow opening. She adjusted her eyes to the dark.

Walking through a nearby doorway, and she was greeted with a large, glass enclosure. It was a shipping container after all. It was empty.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Harleen and Bruce were seated at a table for lunch in the rear of the restaurant. Harley looked radiant without her Harlequin make-up on. Bruce was really taken with her. Their relationship was hectic but rewarding, even if they were trying to be secretive about it. But even he had to admit that although their sexual relationship was very enthusiastic, being seen in public with her could be dangerous.

"I hope you had no trouble," Bruce said. "I've been having second thoughts about us meeting in public."

Harley put her hand over her mouth to cover a slight burp. "I wouldn't worry too much," she said, remembering to turn off her accent. "Joker knows I have a job. He had even encouraged it at one time, said I needed somethin' to do to keep me busy. I'm guessing that bashing people with hammers wasn't fulfilling enough."

Bruce touched his lips with his napkin. "Harleen, has Joker said anything about the identity of his scientist who's been working on his new gas formula?" He asked.

"No, not one peep," she said. "I told you he won't even let me go in the building where the scientist is. He said I'd be in serious trouble if I went in there."

"When was the last time you talked to Pamela?"

"It's been a while, Bruce," she said. "Why do you ask?"

Bruce showed Harley some photographs of Ivy's plants. "Because I believe Joker has her. I think she's the scientist working on his new formula," he explained. "Her plants are dead, and she's gone."

Harley audibly inhaled. "No…please say it's not true," she began. She pushed the photographs away from her. "What if they did to her what was done to me? He wouldn't hurt her, would he? What the Hell am I thinking? Of course he would."

Harley blanched a little after taking a few bites of food. "Are you alright?" Bruce asked.

Harley took a sip of water. "I feel a little tired is all," she said. "Nothing to worry about."

They sat for several minutes in silence. Bruce spoke first. "Is there anything unusual about the mission you've uncovered so far?"

Harley thought a moment. "It should be going down soon," she said. "I can't wait to take him out."

"I just want to make sure you're not forgetting anything," Bruce advanced.

"I just want to make sure you're not forgetting anything," Bruce advanced. "I'm going back to Ivy's apartment later. If you want, you can come too."


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Batman swung down to the roof of Ivy's apartment with Harley clinging to him. They landed near the stairs. The Grapple Hook disengaged itself from his utility belt.

"What're we lookin' fer?" Harley asked.

"I don't know. Maybe he let her go."

Harley opened the door to the stairway. "This way, Bats."

Batman and Harley moved to the third floor. At apartment 306, they heard movement inside. Batman opened his utility belt and picked the lock. Slowly opening the door, they saw Poison Ivy mixing several vials of potion.

"Red," Harley said, "you're here."

Ivy turned and saw Harley standing with Batman just behind her. "Yes, Harl," Ivy said. "I'm here. Where else would I be?"

Batman spoke next. "I came by here a few days ago," he said. "There were signs of a struggle here and a gunshot. Joker and his men were here. Don't deny it."

"Oh they were here, but they got what they came for." Ivy looked at Harley. "Yes, Joker had me for a little while, but I've come back to mix up some antidote for his new toxin, for each of his goons; and Harley, if she needs it. It's enough for over 200 people."

Harley sat down on Ivy's fainting couch. "I don't understand."

Batman clicked his eye piece and scanned Ivy. Her heartrate was elevated. So, she was obviously not telling the whole truth. "Are you saying you're here of your own free will?"

Ivy looked at Batman. "Now I wouldn't say that." She pointed to her neck. "See this pendant? It's wired to a remote trigger. If I try to leave, it'll go off." She looked at Harley. "So I'm kind of stuck."

Harley looked at Batman. "What're we going to do?


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter Forty

"O.K., the plan is for you three to be my eyes and ears on the ground," Joker said, "and I expect you to follow the plan to the letter. A lot is riding on this and there cannot be any interference from Bats. Is that understood?"

Rocco, Zed, and Arky nodded in agreement. "Wit' these new weapons, Boss," Rocco said, "we should be sittin' right."

"Yeah."

Joker nodded. "I am going to have the last laugh, even if it kills everyone. Ha ha hahahaha." He donned his hat. "Come, we must fetch our scientist. She should have the antidote finished by now."


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter Forty-One

' _r-r-r-innnng…..r-r-r-innnnng!'_

"Wayne Manor…just one moment, I'll see if I can summon him."

Alfred moved from the study to the library. There he found Bruce thumbing through one of his Father's medical journals on botanical toxins. "Pardon the intrusion, Sir," Alfred said.

"It's not a problem, Alfred," Bruce said. "I didn't find what I was looking for."

Alfred looked at his employer. "I would say in some respects, you have," he said. "However, you have a phone call."

"Who is it?"

"I believe she said her name was Miss Veronica Vreeland."

Bruce looked at his butler. 'Oh Shit,' he thought. 'I wonder what she wants.'

"Fine, I'll take it in here." He moved to the table in the center of the room. A phone sat on one end. "Hello…?"

"Hello, Bruce," Veronica's syrupy voice greeted him from the other end.

Bruce frowned. "Hello, Veronica," he said. "What can I do for you?"

Veronica laughed on the other end of the line. "I think it's more 'what can I do for you'," she said. "I saw you with a certain blonde the other day, and thought to myself that you might be in some kind of trouble. Trouble seems to have a way of finding you."

"I have no idea…"

"Oh, Bruce, come off it. We both know you were out with that criminal whore Harley Quinn," Veronica spat. "You know: girlfriend of that psychotic killer Joker."

Bruce winced. "She's not a whore," he said. "She was, if you must know, at one time a much respected psychologist. She still is. But, she's left Joker and started working for me."

'Oh I just bet,' Veronica thought. "Well…I took it upon myself to clue in a certain someone about what I saw," she said. "It didn't look like a boss/employer kind of meeting. He paid well, I might add."

"You are truly…"

"Gifted? That's what you were going to say, isn't it?" Veronica was being very smug.

"I was going to say: heartless," Bruce finished. "I don't know what you think you saw, but it's not what you think.

"Oh, but I believe it is," she said. "You didn't want me, no matter how much I tried. I can't believe you would fall for her. Don't even deny it. You having sex with her, Bruce? She giving it out for free? How was she? I hope it was good, because I hope she gets everything coming to her. Byeee."

Bruce slammed the phone down.

"Master Bruce, is everything all right?" Alfred inquired.

"We have a problem. Miss Vreeland took it upon herself to inform Joker that Harleen was with me at the restaurant," he said. "God only knows what she actually told him. She's very much a manipulator of the truth."

"But Miss Vreeland doesn't know you as Batman," Alfred said. "I can't imagine what she might've said."

Bruce thought a moment. "Nevertheless, I have to tell Harleen to be careful. I hope this doesn't ruin the takedown."


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter Forty-Two

Harley Quinn sat quietly on the sofa, Bud and Lou lazily snoring nearby. Joker was pouring over his scheme one last time at his desk, his back to her.

She was beginning to have second thoughts about the plan. What if she ultimately couldn't go through with it? What would Batman think? How quick would he remand her to Arkham? Could he still love her? And what about Joker?

Joker loved Harley as a pet. She knew this. But was that entirely bad? Hadn't other women been treated as loyal pets and survived just fine? Come to think of it, no, she hadn't heard of any.

And then there's Ivy. Their relationship was shaky. They were on again off again lovers. But Ivy had never put strings on the relationship. Each was free to pursue whomever they desired. Ivy loved plants, and Harley desired Joker. Ivy hated Joker. Would Ivy leave her if she pursued Batman?

So many decisions. But her thoughts always came back to Batman. Yes, he would be disappointed in her. And she would miss him.

She could not allow that to happen.


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter Forty-Three

Batman tapped his COM-link. "Harleen, can you hear me?"

He had been trying for several hours with no luck.

"It's no use, Alfred," he said. "She's not answering."

Alfred tried to placate his fears. "She's probably somewhere that she can't respond without compromising herself," he said. "I'm sure she's fine."

"You're probably right." He paused. "Has the guidance system on the Batmobile been upgraded?"

"Lucius sent over the download just this morning," Alfred replied. "I uploaded it to the car's computer an hour ago. It's ready."

"Good."


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter Forty-Four

It had all come down to this. This was to be the defining moment. Rocco, under Joker's advisement, had been able to round up 200 former henchmen to initiate the plan. Armed with SIM-3 ARK Rifles, each man knew his part of the job. Joker had figured everything to the 'Nth' degree, and he had planned for all contingencies.

All, except one.

Harley Quinn watched as crate after crate of improved Joker Gas were being loaded into re-routed Gotham SCU vans. His big plan was to gas all major cities in the US: Gotham, Metropolis, Center, Gateway, Star, Coast, Opal and Midway. She finally realized that Joker was completely insane, and was glad she was the one who Batman trusted to take him down.

Harley pressed her temple. "Hey Lover," she said softly. "It's a go…there's 12 vans, each loaded with tha gas. I don't know how many bozos Mistah J has. They all wearin' Gotham PD uniforms."

" _Where are they taking the gas, Harley?"_ She heard Batman ask.

"Gotham International Airport. He's gonna load 'em on these great big planes." Harley swallowed. "He said somethin' about a gas dispersal system."

" _That's new information."_ Batman paused. _"Are you sure?"_

"That was tha part Mistah J kept to himself," Harley said. "Every major city from Gotham to Midway. He always plays his cards close ta his vest."

Gravel crunched behind her. She whirled around to see Rocco standing before her. "Who ya talkin' to, toots?" he asked. He was big, and intimidating.

" _Think of something, quick!"_ The voice on the COM-link intoned.

"I was just tellin' myself what a brilliant man my Mistah J is," she said. "He's tha smartest in tha biz!"

" _Well…let's not go overboard."_

Rocco smiled. "Yeah, right up there with the best of 'em," he agreed. "I bet even smarter'n Batman."

'No, Batman is smarter, ya bozo,' Harley said to herself.

Rocco stared at her. Harley was dressed in her classic Harlequin outfit. It was skin tight and left nothing to the imagination. Her nipples were hard, and she wasn't wearing any panties. Rocco was becoming aroused.

"Ya know, Harley…" Rocco said loud enough for Batman to hear. He licked his lips. "The other boys and I really enjoyed ourselves that night. You were one great piece."

Harley looked at Rocco dumbfounded. "You bastards raped me!" She snarled. "It wasn't pleasant, asshole. I've just been waitin' fer tha chance ta cut yer dicks off!"

She produced a baton, from where Rocco had no clue. There was no way she could have hidden it on her. He moved toward her. "One step closer'n I'll bash yer damn brains out." She coughed.

Batman was listening intently. _"I'm on my way,"_ Harley heard him say.

Rocco was on her like a rabid dog on prey. He slapped the baton out of her hand, and grabbed her tight. "Listen here, bitch," he said. "I'm not as stupid as you give me credit for. I know yer up to somethin' and I think the boss does too. So why don't we just cut to the chase. I'll keep my mouth shut, and you do as I say." He planted a deep, rough kiss on her mouth.

Harley wanted to gag. He was trying to force his tongue down her throat. She felt the bile rising as well as his manhood.

After what seemed like an eternity, Rocco let go of her. "We understand each other?"

Harley didn't say anything, just looked at him.

"Good."


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter Forty-Five

Batman floored the Batmobile to 110. He needed to get to the airport as soon as possible. There was no way he was going to allow any of the gas to board those planes. He thought about warning the traffic control tower, but then thought better of it. 'No use in causing a panic,' he thought.

The Batmobile screamed through the countryside towards Gotham. He pressed a button. "Oracle…"

"I'm here, Bruce."

"Joker's going to gas the major cities. He's planning to use cargo planes fitted with some kind of gas dispersal system."

"You got this information from Harley?" Barbara asked.

"Yes," Batman replied. "She's in danger. I think they might be on to her."

"Bruce, remember your prime objective here. Stop those planes, whatever it takes."

"I plan on it. Notify the GCPD of what's about to happen."

Barbara was quiet for a few seconds. "You got it. Just don't let anything happen to Harley." 'Your child depends on it,' she said to herself.

"I won't."


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter Forty-Six

Jim Gordon was frustrated. 12 SCU vans were missing from the motor pool. He had not authorized them to be used, and no criminal transport was imminent.

"Montoya!" he yelled. "Who the Hell authorized van requisitions from the motor pool?"

"The new guy," Officer Montoya replied, "the replacement motor pool Sergeant."

"There was no replacement…" Then it hit him. "Oh My God. Get me the head of the Armed Response Team on the phone. NOW!"

At that moment, Gordon's phone rang. _"Is this Commissioner James Gordon?"_ a female voice asked.

"Yes…who is this?"

" _My name is Oracle. I work directly with Batman. Joker is transporting a deadly toxin to Gotham International at this very moment. He plans to gas every major city in the country. "_

"I suppose he was responsible for my missing SCU vans?" Jim asked, already knowing the answer.

" _Yes,"_ Oracle responded. _"Batman is working with Harley Quinn to bring Joker down. He requests your team as back up, as he is unaware of exactly how many players are involved at this time. Be prepared for any contingency."_

Gordon picked up a pencil and was scribbling as Oracle spoke. "Good," he said. "Anything else?"

" _Yes. Joker has taken Poison Ivy hostage. She isn't to be harmed."_

"Got it."


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter Forty-Seven

Rocco continued to eye Harley as she maintained lookout. She could feel his eyes on her. "Hope yer gettin' an eyeful back there. No sign of anyone," she said. "Let's go."

They moved to the rendezvous point where Joker was waiting for them. "Everythin's good, Boss," Rocco said. "All according to plan." He looked at Harley. "Ain't that right, Toots?"

"Right-a-Roonie!" Harley envisioned killing Rocco; such satisfaction that would bring.

"Excellent! Hee hee hee" Joker exclaimed. "I love a good plan." He produced a gun from his coat pocket. "And now for the finale!"

The doors on one of the vans opened and two goons escorted Poison Ivy out. "Rocco, take Ivy here with you and keep your eye on her," joker said. "Make sure she arrives at the airport with you." He turned the gun to Harley, pointing it straight at her head. "Harls, why don't you join me for a little ride. You drive." He motioned her toward another van.

"Puh-puddin'," she stammered. "What ya doin?"

"Takin' care of a little business. Now move." He shoved the gun between her shoulder blades.

Harley moved toward the van. Climbing in the driver's seat, she secretly touched her left temple. "Why do ya want me ta drive?" Batman immediately heard the COM-link come online.

"Shuddap, Bitch!" Joker yelled. "I'll do all the talking. Drive!"

Harley started the van and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Seems like you've been doing a little moon-lighting," Joker said. "At least, that the information I've gathered from a little birdie."

"Moon-lightin'? I've got a job, jus' like ya said I could have," Harley explained.

"Yes. But having dinner with Gotham's most eligible bachelor isn't what I had in mind." Joker was just getting warmed up. "And with your 'friend' Ivy, seems like you've been up to a little more than friendship."

Harley swallowed. "I don't know what yer talkin' about, Mistah J," she said.

Joker was seething. "Harley, Harley, Harley… do you take me for a fool? Haven't I been good to you? Haven't I given you all you need, you felt you had to go find something else behind my back? Don't you know my love for you?"

Harley stared straight ahead. 'I've got to think of something,' she thought. 'Keep it cool, Harls.' "I'm not havin' sex with Bruce Wayne, if that's what yer askin'."

Joker seemed unfazed by her remark. "Well, somebody's getting screwed, so it must be me," he said. "I know something is going on between either you and Pam or you and Brucie Boy. Hell, maybe both." He smiled. "My main concern is where your loyalties really lie."

Harley sat motionless, automatically driving without even thinking about it. "Ya, yer right, Mistah J," she said. "I don't know what I was thinkin'. I'm sorry…it won't happen again."

Batman listened to the exchange. The revelation that Harley and Ivy had been or were currently lovers, was not news to him. However, Joker was trying to brainwash her again by telling her he loved her. He was under the impression that Harley was having an affair behind his back. And that was the correct assumption. He just wasn't sure who with. Joker slapped her face. "I'll need more than just your word," he said.

"Wha…what d'ya want me ta do?" she asked, afraid of the answer.

"To prove you're really sorry, I want you to kill Ivy," Joker said. "And maybe we'll do Brucie, too."

Harley started to cry. "No, Mistah J…please, no. Don't make me do that," she begged.

"I won't believe you, if you don't." Joker stared at her. "When we get to the airport, after the gas is on the planes. See to it, or I'll kill her and you."


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter Forty-Eight

As the SCU vans arrived at Gotham International, the cargo loading area lit up like a Christmas tree. The Batmobile smashed through a fence and detonated a concussion grenade next to the lead van. It careened into a pallet of gasoline barrels and blew into a million pieces.

The remaining vans screeched to a halt just inside the gate, as Joker's henchmen piled out onto the tarmac. Shots rang out. In the distance, the wails of sirens could be heard. GCPD was on their way.

"Get that goddamned gas on the planes, you fools!" Joker yelled. "Batman will not stop us."

The Batmobile swung a hard right and hit a group of goons broadside. Joker lobbed a Joke Bomb and disengaged the drive axle. Batman watched from a nearby rooftop as the car was disabled. He deployed a grapple hook and swooped into the general vicinity.

Landing behind a pallet of crates, he took in the scene. Joker was frantically trying to direct his men to load the planes. He noticed they all had the SIM-3 ARK rifle. Harley appeared unarmed.

At that moment, the GCPD arrived and set up a perimeter. "Alright, men," Gordon could be heard on the loudspeaker. "Spread out. Use deadly force if necessary. No one is to leave this area."

Batman slipped behind another set of crates. He reached around and grabbed a goon and put him to sleep with a sleeper hold. Taking the rifle, he disassembled it in three moves, making it inoperable. He moved to the next set of crates. Zed spotted him, and immediately made a grab for him. Batman side-stepped the assault, grabbed Zed by the arm and swung him around. Zed toppled to the ground and regained his footing.

Harley Quinn saw the exchange and somersaulted into action. She leaped at Batman and gave him a swift judo kick to the pelvis, swinging her body around his back while clamping her thighs around his head. Mustering all her might, she flung him twenty feet to the rear. That gave her plenty of time to confront Zed. She tapped her temple. "Sorry, had ta make it look good," she said. Turning to Zed, she double kicked him in the chest and groin, and down he went.

"Ufffh," Zed muttered, having had the air kicked out of him.

"Payback, Bastard. Nite-nite!" And with that, Harley kicked him across the face as hard as she could. She heard his jaw crack, knowing she had broken it. Zed fell to the ground like a stack of bricks, unconscious.

"What the Hell are ya doin', Harley?" Arky yelled. He grabbed her by her waist and hurled her to the ground. "You stupid, Bitch. Rocco said you might be up to something. Guessin' he was …"

Arky never finished that sentence. He was silenced by Batman's fist to the head.

"Thanks, Bats," Harley said. She blew him a kiss. "Love ya." She disappeared into the fray.

The GCPD had moved in and were heavily engaged in gunfire with the Joker's men. Bullets bounced off every metal surface. Smoke covered the tarmac.

One plane was firing its engines. Batman grappled to the flight tower. Bounding up the last flight of stairs, he threw open the door. "Do not let that plane leave the runway!"

"You got it, Batman."

Meanwhile, Harley was searching for Rocco, the sole remainder of the trio she had hatred for. Stealthily moving through the morass of goons, she finally spotted him loading plane two.

"Hey Rocco!" she called.

"Whaddya want?" He turned to her and horror gripped his face.

"Nothin' much, 'septin' this!" Harley split his skull with an iron pipe. "That'll teach ya to keep ya dick in ya pants!"

Harley turned around and Joker was standing right in front of her, pistol drawn. "Harls, it seems I've been right about you," he said. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you had it out for me and my men. Now where would that crazy idea come from?"

"I'm payin' back these bozos for rapin' me," she snarled. "Or didn't ya know that? Of course ya did, because ya left me there in tha friggin' rain! Hurt, bleedin', humiliated!" She started to feel sick.

"I didn't know what they did, my pet," Joker said. "But we were past that."

Harley stared at him. The gunfire was starting to subside as the GCPD was turning the tide in their favor. "You left me fer dead; didn't even try ta look fer me." She heaved. "If it hadn't been fer Batman…"


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter Forty-Nine

Joker's face lit up. "Batman! I should have known," he said. "He saved you and to repay him, you've been working with him, haven't you, you little minx? That's why you weren't surprised when Poison Ivy was removed from the van. And the only way that would be possible is if you and Batman already knew she was here." He laughed. "You weren't even too upset when Rocco was given point. You are clever, I'll hand it to you."

Joker smacked Harley's face with the butt of his pistol and punched her in the stomach. She fell backwards on her ass to the pavement. "Women…can't live with 'em, can't throw them from a moving car," he cackled. "You have so much to learn, and when we get back, I'm gonna teach you a lesson you'll never forget." He backhanded her with his fist.

Harley felt stunned, but mustered every ounce of energy she had left.

"It's ovah, Mistah J," Harley said wiping her mouth, smearing her make-up. She jumped so quick, Joker had no time to fire his gun. She kicked him in the chin and sent him reeling backward.

"OW!"

Batman landed nearby. He approached the scene. Harley was straddling Joker's body on the ground, pummeling his face with her fists, lashing out at him with every epithet she could muster. "Harleen, that's enough," Batman said. "He's done."

"I hate ya, Mistah J," she informed him. "Ya hear me? I hate ya. I neva wanna see ya again!"

Harley stood up and walked away from them. She began to cry. Batman approached her. "Quinn, it's O.K. He won't hurt you anymore."

"Thanks, B-Man," she said. "Thanks for everythin'." She looked at him. "I couldn't a done it without ya."

Batman went to speak but was unable to as Harley screamed the most unholy scream he had ever heard. A shot rang out as her left side was torn open from the blast of a SIM-3. She fell to the ground.

"NOOO!" Batman heard himself yell as he slammed his fist into Joker's face, knocking the criminal unconscious.

Commissioner Gordon approached with Poison Ivy in handcuffs. Batman was kneeling over Harley's still form. "Is she…?" Ivy asked, eying Harley's bleeding body.

"No, she's alive, just unconscious. I need to get her to Gotham General. The Batmobile is immobile."

"Take one of the squad cars," Gordon said. "Hurry. I'll take care of Ivy."

"Thanks, Jim," Batman said. He scooped Harley into his arms and Ivy watched them disappear into the smoke.


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter Fifty

Harley Quinn lay quietly in her hospital bed, IV drip in her arm. Her side sewn shut, heavily bandaged. Her face was still made up, her mask still in place. Batman had made sure of it. That, and the fact that she was to have a private room with no unauthorized access.

She knew he was there. She could sense him, even with her eyes closed. "Bruce?"

Batman moved from the back wall toward her bed. "I'm here," he said. "I didn't want to disturb you. You were sleeping so peacefully."

Harley swallowed. "Is it over? Did we do it?"

"Yes."

"What about Pammy?"

"She's fine. No charges were levied against her." Harley smiled.

"Ya know I love her, right? That O.K. with ya?" She wondered how Bruce would take that information.

"Yes, I know you do. I'm O.K. with that."

Harley got quiet. A tear slowly trickled down her cheek and she began to softly cry.

"Harleen, what's the matter?" Batman asked.

"Oh, Brucie," she said, "I'm so sorry."

"Harleen, you have nothing to be sorry about," Bruce said. He locked the door and removed his mask.

Harley looked at him, her blue eyes filled with tears. "The Doctor…she…she…she said I lost it." Harley sniffed, and started to cry harder. "She said I lost our baby. I was pregnant, and I didn't even know."

She dried her eyes. "But, come to think of it, I was sick fer a couple of days. I thought it was somethin' I ate." Her lower lip trembled. "And now ya won't want me…"

Bruce took her hands in his. His love for this woman was complete. "Harley, I love you. We'll make another baby. I do want you. And nothing will change that."

Harley smiled devilishly, wiggling her finger at him. "Gimme some sugar, Baby…"


End file.
